HOW MAKENZIE FOUND US

JOSH AND I HAVE HAD OUR PROFILE ON LDS WEBSITE FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS, THE PICTURES ON THERE I HAD NOT UPDATED THEM FOR A COUPLE YEARS, AS MANY OF YOU KNOW WE HAD DECIDED TO GO WITH ANOTHER AGENCY WE FELT LIKE LDS WAS NOT BEING TO HELPFUL, BUT STILL HAD OUR PROFILE ON LDS, AND THEY WHERE STILL DOING OUR HOME STUDY FOR US. WHEN I READ  THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EMAIL BY MAKENZIE IT WAS FROM LDS I WAS SO, SO HAPPY. LATER WHEN WE MET WITH HER AND HER MOM SHE SAID THAT SHE KNEW SHE WANTED THIS BABY TO HAVE A DAD, AND THAT IS ONE THING SHE CAN'T BE, SHE SAID IN THE EMAIL THAT SHE HAD BEEN STUDYING  THE FAMILY PROCLAMATION, SHE THEN SAID SHE WOULD NOT BE THE PERSON SHE IS TODAY IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE A DAD, SHE IS A DADDY'S GIRL I LOVE THAT. SHE HAS A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM AND DAD. SO SHE KNEW THAT SHE NEEDED TO PLACE THIS CHILD FOR ADOPTION, SHE HAS SEEN IT BLESS OTHER'S BOTH HER COUSINS WHERE ADOPTED.HER MOM HAD GONE TO LDS FAMILY SERVICES WEB SITE LOOKING AT FAMILIES SHE SAID IT WAS THREE IN THE MORNING WHEN SHE FOUND US, WE WHERE TO THE END, SHE SAID SHE WAS GETTING WORRIED CUZ SHE HADN'T FOUND THE FAMILY, THEN SHE FOUND US, SHE SAID SHE KNEW THAT WE WHERE THAT FAMILY, SHE WOKE UP MAKENZIE DAD, THEN LATER ON THAT MORNING MAKENZIE HAD WATCHED LONESOME DOVE WITH HER DAD, JOSH HAD PUT THAT AS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE MOVIES AS MAKENZIE WAS READING THIS SHE FELT LIKE THIS WAS ANOTHER WAY THE LORD WAS TELLING HER THAT WE WHERE THE ONES, AS I HAVE TALKED WITH HER I USUALLY TEXT, OR TALK TO HER EVERYDAY, SHE HAS SAID WHAT PEACE SHE HAS FELT, SHE SAYS SHE FEEL LIKE HEAVENLY FATHER HAS PUT HER IN A BUBBLE AND SHE IS PROTECTED. I WAS TALKING WITH MY MOM THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS TELLING HER I THINK THAT THERE IS ANGELS HELPING THESE SWEET BIRTH MOM AND THERE
 FAMILIES, I BELIEVE THAT WHEN THEY HAVE TO SIGN THOSE PAPER, THE LORD IS THERE HELPING THEM AND ANGLES AS WELL. I WAS TALKING WITH MAKENZIE MOM JACKIE THE OTHER DAY, AND SHE WAS SAYING HOW SHE FEELS AT PEACE AS WELL I AM SURE THE LORD IS HELPING THEM AS WELL. ADOPTION IS WONDERFUL THE LOVE THAT SO, SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE FOR THESE SWEET BABIES, SHE HAD CONTACTED US WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST 13 WEEK, AT FIRST I WAS LIKE LORD WHY WOULD I HAVE TO WAIT MORE, WHEN I HAVE WAITED YEARS, BUT AS THE WEEKS HAVE GONE BY I HAVE FELT SO MUCH LOVE FOR MY HEAVENLY FATHER HE KNEW THIS IS WHAT OUR LITTLE FAMILY NEEDED. I HAVE LOVED EVERY MINUTE, I HAVE LOVED GETTING TO KNOW THIS SPECIAL PERSON MAKENZIE, I HAVE LOVED GETTING TO KNOW HER, AND HER FAMILY, THEY ARE NOW ALL APART OF OUR FAMILY, THEY LOVE ZAK, AND TREAT HIM AS IF HE WAS THERE GRANDCHILD, AND ZAK JUST LOVES MAKENZIE,WE GOT TO SEE HER AND HER MOM AND MEET HER SISTER ALLEE, WE WENT TO LUNCH AND THEN SHOPPING THEN THEY CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE, I WILL ALWAYS TREASURE THESE MOMENTS, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER FOR GUIDING BOTH OF OUR PATHS SO WE COULD BE APART OF EACH OTHERS LIFE'S, WE HAVE BOTH HELPED EACH OTHER. NEXT WEEK SHE WILL BE 30 WEEKS, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST HERE, AS I WRITE THIS THE TEARS KEEP COMING, I CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD HER IN MY ACHING ARMS, AND TELL HER HOW LOVED SHE IS AND HOW SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR HER, I CAN'T WAIT FOR ZAK TO MEET HIS SISTER I KNOW HE ALREADY AS MEET HER,BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM HOLD HER. WHEN KAYLEE DIED IT WAS REALLY HARD ON HIM, HE STILL TALKS ABOUT IT. WE COULD NOT BE  ANY HAPPIER, I KNOW NOW HEAVENLY FATHER DOES HEAR US AND DOES ANSWER OUR PRAYERS EVEN IF THEY DO TAKE YEARS, I HAVE LEARNED SO MANY GREAT THINGS THESE LAST COUPLE MOMENTS, I HAVE GROWN AS A PERSON. AND FOR THAT I AM THANKFUL:) :) I KNOW MAKENZIE COULD DO BETTER TELLING THIS STORY I AM SURE I LEFT OUT MANY THINGS,THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE ONE FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS, AND LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR OUR LITTLE FAMILY...

ULTRA SOUND SEPT 24, 2013

 

ON SEPTEMBER 23RD WE HEADED DOWN TO CEDAR CITY TO GO STAY WITH OUR SWEET BIRTH MOM MAKENZIE, AND HER SWEET FAMILY. WE HAD A BLAST!! ZAK LOVED BEING THERE HIS FAVORITE PART WAS GETTING IN THERE HOT TUB, ZAK EVEN LEFT HIS CUTE HAND PRINT ON THERE WALL WITH PAINT, THE OTHER 3 GRAND KIDS HAD THERE HAND PRINTS ON THE WALL SO HE ASKED JACKIE MAKENZIE'S MOM IF HE COULD PUT HIS HAND ON THE WALL, IT WAS CUTE CUZ HE SAID TO ME MOM NOW I WILL BE A PART OF THERE CLUB, HOW CUTE WAS THAT, I THOUGHT IT WAS SWEET TO LET ZAK PUT HIS HAND PRINT ON THE WALL,WHEN WE FIRST GOT THERE WE JUST SAT AND TALKED WE STAYED UP TILL 2:00 AM,WHEN WE GOT UP HER MOM MADE THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER, YOU NAME IT WE HAD IT, AFTER BREAKFAST WE TALKED SOME MORE HER DAD WAS REALLY CUTE HE KEEP SAYING HE HOPED IT WAS A GIRL, WHAT A BLESSING THIS WAS FOR MY FAMILY WE HAD NEVER BEEN TO A ULTRA SOUND BEFORE, I TRYED TO SOAK IT ALL IN, I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW I FELT, WE WHERE SO THANKFUL THAT SHE ASKED US TO BE THERE WITH HER, TO HEAR WHAT THIS SWEET CHILD THAT IS SO WANTED,AND LOVED AND THAT SO MANY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN SAID ON THIS BABY, JUST LIKE ZAK I KNOW THIS CHILD IS EXTRA SPECIAL! OF COURSE EVERYONE WAS WAITING ON ME TO GO TO THE ULTRA SOUND I FELT BAD, THEY WHERE TEASING ME, I TOLD MAKENZIE THAT MY MOM AND SISTER ARE DYING TO KNOW WHAT THE BABY WAS MAKENZIE SAID JOKING TO ME MAYBE YOU SHOULD STAY HOME WILL TELL YOU AT THE PARTY WHAT THE BABY IS, SHE LOVES TO JOKE, SHE SAID YOU HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME PLANING THIS PARTY YOU BETTER WAIT TO TELL THEM. SO EARLIER THAT MORNING HER MOM ASKED IF WE HAD PICTURES OF KAYLEE, WE SAID YES, WE SHOWED THEM TO HER, SHE WAS WONDERING CUZ, MAKENZIE'S COUSIN HAD LOST THERE LITTLE BOY A MONTH EARLIER, THEY HAD CARVED A PICTURE OUT OF WOOD OF THE BABY, THEY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR US OF KAYLEE, IT WAS TOUCHING TO SEE HOW THEY WANTED TO DO THIS FOR US, HER MOM MADE COOKIES FOR HER DOCTOR, AND WENT OVER TO MAKENZIES AUNTS HOUSE TO SEE THE WOOD THAT WAS CARVED OF THE LITTLE BOY, IT WAS SPECIAL AS WE WHERE DRIVING TO THE ULTRA SOUND MAKENZIE ASKED US HAVE YOU GUYS EVER BEEN TO CEDAR CITY BEFORE WE SAID YES TO STOP AND GET GAS, OR EAT BUT I THEN SAID ABOUT 10-12 YEARS AGO WE CAME DOWN HERE JOSH COUSIN DIED IN A HUNTING ACCIDENT, SHE SAID SHANE, WE SAID YES, SHE SAID THATS MY COUSIN WE COULD NOT BELIEVE OUR EARS THERE IS SO MANY TENDER MERCIES FROM THE LORD WE KNOW THAT HE HAS HAD A HAND IN IT. HER MOM AND DAD AND JOSH AND ME AND ZAK AND OF COURSE MAKENZIE WAS THERE FOR THE ULTRA SOUND WE ASKED ZAK A COUPLE TIME SO WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS BABY IS HE WOULD SAY A "GIRL" THEY CALLED MAKENZIE'S NAME WE WENT IN SHE ASK ME TO BE UP BY HER I FELT HONORED TOO, BEFORE THEY EVEN STARTED I WAS ALREADY CRYING, I WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL FOR THAT MOMENT AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL THAT MAKENZIE INVITED MY LITTLE FAMILY INTO THERE AS WELL. ZAK LOVES HER SO MUCH IT CUTE EVERY DAY HE PRAYS FOR HER AND HER DAD, HER DAD HAD BACK SURGERY THE END OF AUGUST. SHE HAS THE BEST PARENTS, I AM GLAD THAT THEY NOW WILL BE APART OF OUR FAMILY, ZAK LOVES THEM AS WELL THEY ARE SO GOOD TO HIM. I WAS DYING IT TOOK THEM FOREVER TO TELL US WHAT THE BABY WAS, THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE IN THAT ROOM, IT WAS SO EXCITING, RIGHT AFTER THEY TOLD US WHAT THE BABY WAS OF COURSE JOSH AND I HELD EACH OTHER AND CRYED, THEN MY PHONE RANG IT WAS MY MOM I HAD PUT HER ON SPEAKER SHE WAS CRYING SAYING EMILEE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE BABY IS, MAKENZIE PARENTS SAID YOU SHOULD TELL HER SO I DID, THEN AFTER THAT WE WENT TO SEE HER DOCTOR AND THEY GAVE HIM THE COOKIES HER MOM HAD MADE, THEN WE WENT BACK TO HERE HOUSE AND HAD A BBQ IT WAS GREAT AS WELL, HER MOM HAD A GIFT FOR US SHE HAD BOUGHT BOTH A BOY GIFT AND A GIRL, IT WAS THE CUTEST LITTLE OUTFIT, EVEN 2 OF HER FRIENDS STOPPED BY, ONE GAVE A  GIFT AS WELL, THEN WE GOT TO GO SHOPPING, IT WAS FUN THEN WE WENT AND MET HER GRANDPARENTS THEY ARE ALSO SO SWEET AND NICE. WE FELT VERY COMFORTABLE BEING THERE AND BEING WITH MAKENZIE, WE THEN HAD TO SAY OUR GOOD BYE'S WE DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE WE WHERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN I WANTED TO FREEZE TIME, WE TOOK ZAK TO MCDONALD'S THERE IN CEDAR HE LOVES THE PLAY LAND THERE, THEN WE HEADED HOME, I HAD SO MUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS IN MY HEART I WAS SO THANKFUL FOR MY HEAVENLY FATHER WHO I KNOW HAD A HAND IN IT, I HAVE A TESTIMONY THAT HE DOES ANSWER PRAYERS HE DOES LISTEN EVEN IF WE FEEL HE IS NOT, HE IS. MAKENZIE WAS A ANSWER TO OUR PRAYERS WE ARE SO BLESSED.. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BABY IS STAY TUNED!!! 


 

ALL ABOUT MAKENZIE

I HAVE HAD SOME PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT OUR SWEET MAKENZIE, SO I THOUGHTS I WOULD SHARE SOME THINGS ABOUT HER. WHEN I FIRST READ HER EMAIL I COULD FEEL HER SWEET SPIRIT AND TESTIMONY, I KNOW SHE IS A DAUGHTER OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER AND HE LOVES HER, WHEN WE FIRST MEET I LOVED HOW BUBBLY SHE WAS AND HOW SHE HAD A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE BUT ON THE INSIDE AS WELL, SHE LOVES A LOT OF THE SAME THINGS OUR FAMILY LIKES, ADOPTION IS CRAZY LIKE THAT I REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MEET OUR SWEET BIRTH MOM MELISSA IT WAS THE SAME WE HAD A LOT IN COMMON. IT SEAMS LIKE WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS, I HAVE HAD SO MUCH FUN TEX TING BACK AND FORTH WITH HER, I HAVE LOVED GETTING TO KNOW HER, AND HOW SHE BECAME THE SWEET PERSON SHE IS. SHE IS 25 YEARS OLD, SHE LOVE SPORTS, SHE IS GOING TO HAVE TO TEACH ME ABOUT SPORTS I AM CLUELESS WHEN IT COMES TO SPORTS. SHE LOVES TO GO CAMPING UP TO THERE CABIN, SHE IS A VERY HARD WORKER SHE IS A SPECIAL NEED TEACHER AT THE HIGH SCHOOL, ALSO THEVARSITY SOFTBALL COACH, AND THEN IS A SUPERVISOR AT A TROUBLED YOUTH HOME. SHE IS SUPER BUSY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN SHE SLEEPS. WE COULD NOT ASK FOR ANY ONE BETTER, SHE IS MEANT TO BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY, THE LORD DOES ANSWER PRAYER I CAN TELL YOU HE DOES HEAR YOU EVEN WHEN YOU THINK HE MAY NOT BE LISTING, I COULD GO ON, ON ABOUT MAKENZIE, AND I AM SURE YOU WILL FIND OUT AND HEAR MORE ABOUT HER. WE LEAVE ON MONDAY TO GO DOWN TO STAY WITH HER AND HER FAMILY WE FIND OUT WHAT SHE IS HAVING! ON TUESDAY. I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED WE ARE, WE HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A ULTRA SOUND, WE BOTH HAVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN, WE WILL ALSO GET TO MEET HER DAD SINCE HE WAS NOT ABLE TO COME UP WHEN WE MEET IN AUGUST. I WILL KEEP EVERYONE POSTED ON WHAT THIS SWEET BABY IS, WE KNOW THAT THIS CHILD IS A BLESSING, AND IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN OUR HOME. JUST LIKE ZAK IS A BLESSING IN OUR HOME.WE LOVE ADOPTION, WE LOVE THESE BIRTH PARENTS AND THERE FAMILIES. WHAT A BLESSING IT IS IN OUR LIVES. STAY TUNED TO WHO WILL BE JOINING THE OLIVER FAMILY!!!

MEETING OUR SWEET MAKENZIE FOR THE FIRST TIME

SO MAKENZIE AND HER MOM WHERE COMING UP HERE, FOR THE WEEKEND. WE WHERE ALL SO EXCITED TO MEET HER AND HER MOM. SO ON FRIDAY AUGUST 9TH WE DECIDED TO MEET AT LONGHORN STEAKHOUSE, THE PLAN WAS THAT WE WOULD HAVE ZAK COME MEET HER AND HER MOM, PLUS ZAK WANTED TO GIVE HER FLOWERS THAT HE HAD PICKED OUT FOR HER, THEN MY PARENTS WOULD COME AND GET ZAK, EARLIER THAT DAY THE PLAN WAS MY MOM WOULD CALL AFTER SHE PICKED MY DAD UP FROM WORK THEN THEY WOULD COME IN AND GET HIM, BUT AS THE DAY WENT ON MY MOM CALLED AND SAID EM I THINK THAT JOSH OR YOU SHOULD BRING HIM OUT IT MIGHT MAKE HER FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE I SAID THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING, SO AFTER WE ALL MEET AND STARTED TALKING MY MOM CALLED TO SAY THEY WHERE THERE, BOTH MAKENZIE AND HER MOM SAID WE WOULD LOVE TO MEET THEM, SO JOSH WENT OUT TO GET THEM, I WAS SO GLAD THAT MY MOM AND DAD GOT TO MEET MAKENZIE AND HERE MOM. IT WAS FUNNY SHE SAID I COULD OF MEET EVERYONE OF YOUR FAMILY'S TONIGHT.  WE WHERE THERE FOR 5 HOURS, YES WE COULD NOT STOP  TALKING. ADOPTION IS A MIRACLE IT IS SO NEAT TO SEE HOW OUR PATHS CROSSED, YOU CAN SEE HEAVENLY FATHERS HAND.  THEY BOTH WHERE SO PRETTY MAKENZIE IS A DOLL SHE HAS LONG BROWN CURLY HAIR,  HER MOM LOOKED SO FAMILIAR, ALSO MY MOM THOUGHT THE SAME THING. IT WAS A NIGHT I WILL NEVER FORGET WE ASK HER IF SHE KNEW WHAT THE BABY WAS SHE SAID HER AND HER MOM THINK A GIRL SHE KEEP CALLING THE BABY A GIRL. THE DAY AFTER I HAD GOT THE EMAIL I WAS THINKING WELL IF IT'S A GIRL I HAVE THE NURSERY ALL READY EXCEPT I WILL CHANGE IT UP A LITTLE BIT I FEEL LIKE HOW I HAD DONE IT WAS FOR KAYLEE, IF IT IS A GIRL I WILL DO A LITTLE CHANGES TO IT, BUT THEN I THOUGHT IF IT'S A BOY I WILL HAVE TO DO THE ROOM ALL OVER, I KNOW I AM CRAZY I STARTED THINKING IF IT'S A BOY I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT COLORS SO I CAN START LOOKING . SO THE NEXT DAY I WAS AT HOME FABRIC'S IN MIDVALE  I STARTED LOOKING AT MATERIAL THAT WOULD GO FOR IN A LITTLE BOYS ROOM, I FOUND SOME ON CLEARANCE THERE WAS NOT THAT MUCH ON IT THE GIRL SAID THEY DON'T HOLD, SO I CALLED MY MOM TO SEE WHERE SHE WAS AT IT WAS FUNNY CUZ SHE WAS JUST UP THE STREET, SHE CAME IN, SHE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY YES I KNOW I AM. BUT I WAS WORRIED THAT IF IT WAS A BOY AND I WENT BACK TO GET IT AND IT WAS GONE I WOULD BE MAD SO YES I DID BUY THE MATERIAL JUST IN CASE  IT'S A BOY. MAKENZIE IS AMAZING WE COULD NOT FEEL MORE BLESSED, SHE HAS A STRONG TESTIMONY, AND SUCH A SWEET SPIRIT AS WE TALKED IT WAS CLEAR TO BOTH JOSH AND I THAT THIS CHILD NEEDS TO BE IN OUR HOME, ONE DAY WE WILL FIND OUT WHY, MAKENZIE MOM AND FAMILY IS VERY SUPPORTIVE OF HER CHOICE, I LOVED SEEING AND HEARING ABOUT MAKENZIE AS SHE WAS GROWING UP, SHE WAS MAKING JOSH AND I JUST LAUGH WE LOVE HER SENSE OF HUMOR I LOVED HOW SHE WAS TEASING JOSH. OUR LIVES ARE A LOT A LIKE. HER MOM WAS AMAZING AS WELL, AND I KNOW WHEN WE MEET HER DAD HE WILL BE TO, I THINK JOSH AND HIM WILL GET ALONG  WELL. WE ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE HER AND HER FAMILY IN OUR LIVES, WHAT A SPECIAL PERSON MAKENZIE IS. PS I WILL POST HOW SHE FOUND US.
                                       TO BE CONTINUED!!

JOURNEY # 3

"GOD IS MAKING THINGS HAPPEN FOR YOU EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T SEE IT. EVEN WHEN YOU CAN'T FEEL IT.EVEN IF IT'S NOT EVIDENT. GOD IS WORKING ON YOUR PRAYERS". AFTER KAYLEE DIED WE TOLD ZAK WE NEEDED TO PICK OUT A DIFFERENT NAME FOR A BOY OR GIRL, ZAK SAID I KNOW IF ITS A GIRL WE SHOULD NAME HER MAKENZIE, HE WOULD SAY HIS PRAYERS, HE WOULD PRAY FOR BIRTH MOM'S AND THEN HE WOULD SAY A COUPLE TIMES PLEASE SENT MAKENZIE TO OUR HOME. SO ON MONDAY AUG 5 I WOKE UP FIXED ZAK AND ME BREAKFAST. THEN ZAK WANTED ME TO TURN ON CARTOONS FOR HIM THAT IS USUALLY WHEN I GO UP STAIRS TO READ MY EMAILS AND STUFF. I WENT TO MY EMAILS TO FIND A EMAIL FROM LDS FAMILY SERVICES, MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I WAS COMPLETELY SCARED, BUT O SO, SO EXCITED TO READ THIS EMAIL AS I READ THE EMAIL TEARS WHERE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. I COULD FEEL THIS SWEET BIRTH MOMS SPIRIT AND TESTIMONY, THE THINGS SHE WROTE IN THIS EMAIL WILL FOREVER BE SPECIAL TO ME AS I ALREADY FELT A CONNECTION TO HER. AT FIRST I WAS SCARED TO TELL ZAK CUZ HE HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS I THOUGHT MAYBE WE WILL WAIT TO TELL HIM THEN I THOUGHT NO HE NEED TO EXPERIENCE THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY THAT WE ARE SO BLESSED TO TAKE, IT'S NOT A EASY ONE FOR SURE BUT WORTH EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH. I LOVE ADOPTION. I LOVE HOW THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE THAT THESE SWEET BIRTH FAMILY'S HAVE FOR THAT CHILD. TO GET TO SEE AND EXPERIENCE IT  IS SO AMAZING. OF COURSE AFTER I READ IT I CALLED JOSH HE WAS SO EXCITED I THINK HE WAS AS WELL IN SHOCK. AFTER KAYLEE DIED MY FAMILY SAID THERE IS ANOTHER SWEET SPIRIT JUST AROUND THE CORNER MY MOM AND BOTH MY SISTER KEEP TELLING ME THAT. MY MOM EVEN SAID MAYBE THIS NEXT TIME THEY WILL JUST CALL YOU UP AND TELL YOU THEY HAVE A BABY FOR YOU, I SAID THAT WOULD BE PERFECT I TOLD ALOT OF PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT, IT TOOK A LOT OUT OF JOSH AND I WE NEVER, NEVER THOUGH THIS WOULD HAPPEN. I WAS TALKING TO ONE OF OUR FRIENDS MY COUSIN CHAD'S REALLY GOOD FRIEND GROWING UP ADOPTED THERE FIRST CHILD, THEY ADOPTED IT FROM THE SAME AGENCY WE HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH. I TOLD HER WHAT MY MOM HAD SAID ABOUT THEM JUST CALLING AND SAYING THERE WAS A BABY, BUT THEN I WENT ON TO TELL HER THAT IN ONE WAY IT WOULD BE GREAT GETTING TO KNOW ANOTHER SPECIAL BIRTH MOM AND HER FAMILY, I TREASURE ZAK'S BIRTH MOM AND HER FAMILY, I ALSO TREASURE KAYLEE'S BIRTH MOM. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR HEARTS NO MATTER WHAT, THEY WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF OUR FAMILY. SO WHEN I READ THAT SHE WAS ALMOST 13 WEEKS PREGNANT I ABOUT DIED, I DID KEEP READING IT OVER, AND OVER. I THOUGHT AM I STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS, ETC. BUT THEN THE SWEET SPIRIT WHISPERS "YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS". I CAN TELL YOU THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS I HAVE GROWN AND LEARNED SO MUCH FROM MY SWEET HEAVENLY FATHER, THAT I DO HAVE FAITH, I FEEL THIS CHILD IS NEEDED IN OUR HOME AT THIS TIME, THAT THIS SWEET SPIRIT IS OURS TO RAISE. MY FAMILY AND JOSH'S HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY FOR OUR LITTLE FAMILY ALL DAY I COULD NOT STOP SMILING I KNEW THAT MY HEAVENLY FATHER HEARS AND DOES ANSWER OUR PRAYER, EVEN 5 YEAR OLD PRAYERS. WHEN I READ WHAT HER NAME WAS MAKENZIE I WAS DYING I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. A SWEET TENDER MERCY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. WE KNOW HE HEARS US, IN HER EMAIL SHE TALKS ABOUT THE FAMILY, AND ABOUT HOW SHE CAN'T BE A DAD, AND HOW SPECIAL HER DAD IS TO HER, AND HOW HE SHAPED HER INTO THE PERSON SHE IS TODAY. SHE SAID SHE HAS BEEN STUDYING THE FAMILY PROCLAMATION AND HOW IT TALKS ABOUT A MOM AND A DAD, SHE WANT THAT SO BAD FOR THIS SWEET CHILD. BOTH OF MY SISTER'S ARE IN YOUNG WOMEN'S THEY BOTH SAID THEY WISHED I WOULD OF GOT IT EARLIER BECAUSE THE LESSON WAS ON FAMILY AND PROCLAMATION. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT OUR PROFILE ON LDS IT HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE 4 YEARS AGO SO THE PICTURES WHERE OLD OF US AND ZAK, I DID UPDATE THE LETTER ABOUT A YEAR IN A HALF SO IT WAS OUT DATED AS WELL, I THOUGHT O NO SO WHEN I EMAILED HER BACK I GAVE HER OUR BLOG ADDRESS I THOUGHT SHE CAN SEE UP DATED PICTURES, AND READ MORE ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. I CALLED MY CASE WORKER  I TOLD HER ABOUT KAYLEE, SHE WAS NOT A WARE OF IT, I TOLD HER I WAS REALLY SCARED, SEE THEY GET THE EMAIL FIRST THEN WE DO, SO I CALLED TO SEE IF SHE HAD GOT IT AND SHE SAID NO SHE HAD NOT GOT IT. SHE TOLD ME WHAT I NEED TO PUT IN MY EMAIL, I HUNG UP THE PHONE AND THOUGHT I WILL PUT WHAT WE FEEL WE NEED TO PUT IN IT I DON'T NEED ANY ONE TELLING ME WHAT  I NEED TO PUT. WE EMAILED BACK AND FORTH ALL DAY I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN, WE WENT AND GOT PIZZA AND TOOK IT TO THE PARK FOR FAMILY NIGHT, THEN WENT AND GOT A SNOW CONE. WE GOT TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS WITH ZAK FOR FAMILY NIGHT WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE WAS SO EXCITED, I THINK IN A WAY ITS HARD FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND SINCE KAYLEE PASS A WAY. IT WAS SO HARD. I TEXT ED HER AND ASKED IF I COULD CALL HER, SHE SAID YES, SO I CALLED HER WE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR TWO HOUR OR SO, SHE SAID THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE SHE WAS COMING UP THIS WEEKEND WE WANTED TO MEET EACH OTHER SOON. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD LET ME KNOW LATER IN THE WEEK. WE GOT WORD THAT SHE WAS COMING UP THAT WEEKEND.  
                              TO BE CONTINUED!!

HE HEARS US

CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE OUR STORY, HEAVENLY FATHER HEARS AND ANSWERS PRAYERS....

HE TEACHES ME

SOME DAYS ARE HARDER THEN OTHER'S, SUNDAY WAS A REALLY HARD DAY FOR BOTH ME AND JOSH, I BROKE DOWN IN SACRAMENT I COULD FEEL KAYLEE'S SWEET SPIRIT I KNEW SHE WAS THERE WITH US, I COULD NOT STOP CRYING I TOLD JOSH TO GIVE ME THE KEYS HE SAID LETS JUST GO HOME, ZAK WAS PLAYING ON OUR BENCH WITH SOME OF HIS FRIENDS WE TOLD HIM TO START CLEANING UP SACRAMENT WAS ALMOST OVER ANYWAYS. WE TOLD HIM TO COME HERE WE TOLD HIM WE WHERE GOING HOME HE SAID ALL SAD I CAN'T GO HOME I TOLD MY TEACHERS I WOULD BE THERE IN PRIMARY AND IF I DIDN'T GO I WOULD BE LYING TO THEM. HE HAD GONE UP TO THEM BEFORE CHURCH HAD STARTED TO TELL THEM HI. AT THAT MOMENT I THOUGHT HERE IS A 5 YEAR OLD TEACHING ME I KNEW I NEEDED TO BE STRONG FOR ZAK, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY LITTLE GUY REMINDING ME THAT I CAN DO HARD THINGS. I FEEL SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM, WHAT A HONOR IT IS FOR ME TO BE HIS MOM, I CHERISH EVERY MINUTE I HAVE WITH HIM EVEN THOUGH SOME TIMES IT'S HARD BUT I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM ZAK THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTH'S HE IS MY LITTLE BUDDY, WE LOVE HIM SO, SO MUCH. THANKS ZAK FOR TEACHING US WHAT IS IMPORTANT!!

IF HEAVEN WASN'T SO FAR A WAY

YESTERDAY I GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO A LITTLE BOYS FUNERAL HE WAS IN MY MOM AND DADS WARD HIS NAME WAS PAXTON HE DIED AT 3 YEARS OLD. SUNDAY WAS A HARD DAY FOR JOSH AND I MY MOM CALLED ME ON SUNDAY NIGHT AND SAID I FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO COME TO THIS LITTLE BOYS FUNERAL I FEEL LIKE THEY MIGHT SAY SOMETHING TO HELP YOU IN YOUR GRIEVING, AS MY MOM WAS THINKING THAT, MY DAD CAME HOME AND HE TOLD MY MOM THE SAME THING THEY SAID THAT ELDER HOLLAND WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THERE. I TOLD MY MOM I WOULD LOVE TO GO, A FRIEND ANSWERED MY PRAYER, I CALLED TO SEE IF SHE COULD WATCH ZAK FOR ME I KNEW IT WOULD BE LONG, I WAS SO GRATEFUL SHE COULD WATCH HIM FOR ME. ABOUT 15 MINS BEFORE IT WAS TOO START ELDER HOLLAND WALKED IN THE ROOM EVERY ONE STOOD AS HE WALKED IN THE SPIRIT WAS SO STRONG YOU COULD FEEL IT I OF COURSE STARTED CRYING I THOUGHT THIS IS NOT GOOD. BUT IT WAS A WONDERFUL FUNERAL ELDER HOLLAND SPOKE HE HELPED HEAL MY HEART, AFTER THE FUNERAL I TOLD MY MOM THAT I WANTED TO GO SHAKE ELDER HOLLANDS HAND IT WAS SO SPECIAL SOMETHING I WILL TREASURE FOREVER I SHOOK HIS HAND AND TOLD HIM I ENJOYED THE THINGS HE HAD SAD AND THEN, I TOLD HIM I HAD LOST MY SWEET LITTLE GIRL 2 MONTHS AGO, HE THEN GAVE ME A BIG HUG!! IT HELP ME SO MUCH, I AM THANKFUL FOR PARENTS WHO LISTEN TO THE SPIRIT, AND FOR A SWEET FRIEND THAT WATCHED ZAK FOR ME. WE ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE THESE WONDERFUL MEN HERE ON THIS EARTH TO HELP GUIDE, TEACH US.I KNOW ELDER HOLLAND IS A SPECIAL SERVANT OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR YESTERDAY AND BEING ABLE TO BE THERE. I PRAY FOR THIS SWEET FAMILY THAT THE LORD WILL COMFORT THEM AT THIS HARD TIME IN THERE LIVES. I DO WISH THERE WAS VISIT HOURS IN HEAVEN I HAVE MANY LOVES ONE UP THERE, AND NOW MY SWEET KAYLEE. THERE IS A COUNTRY SONG IF HEAVEN WASN'T SO FAR A WAY, IT TALKS ABOUT HOW HE WOULD TAKE HIS KIDS UP TO HEAVEN AND INTRODUCE THEM TO THERE GRANDPA AND SPEND THE DAY WITH HIM AND OTHER LOVED ONES. BUT I DO KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT FAR FROM US I BELIEVE THEY ARE WATCHING OVER US AND ARE PROTECTING US, AND WANT US TO BE HAPPY.

SWIMMING LESSON TREATS

THE ONE ON THE LEFT WAS FOR HIS FRIENDS, THE ONE ON THE RIGHT WAS FOR HIS TEACHER, IT'S HARD TO SEE HERE I PUT ALL THE STUFF IN A BEACH PAIL.

ZAK HAD SUCH A FUN TIME AT SWIMMING LESSONS, HE WAS SAD TO SEE IT END, WE MEET SOME NEW FRIENDS. WE THOUGHT WE WOULD MAKE SOME OF OUR NEW FRIENDS, AND THE TEACHER OF COURSE A TREAT!! I LOVED WATCHING ZAK I AM SO GLAD I GET TO HAVE THESE MOMENTS WITH HIM CUZ I KNOW THEY GROW UP WAY TO FAST.

ZAK'S 5TH BIRTHDAY

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO POST ZAK'S 5TH BIRTHDAY THAT WAS ON NOV 17TH. I GUESS IT NEVER TOO LATE. WE DID A LOADER PARTY FOR ZAK SINCE HE LOVE'S LOADER TRACTORS IT WAS FUN TO DO I USUALLY START A YEAR A HEAD PLANNING IT, I KNOW I AM CRAZY LIKE THAT I HAVE ALREADY BOUGHT STUFF FOR ZAK'S PARTY THIS COMING YEAR, ITS GREAT TO DO THAT CUZ ALL YEAR LONG YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYE'S OPEN ON THINGS THAT GO ON SALE OR CLEARANCE. I HAD FUN MAKING THE INVITES THE ROCKS ON THE LOADER ARE CHOCOLATE COAL I SAW THEM AND THOUGHT THOSE LOOK LIKE BIG ROCKS THAT GO INTO A LOADER. ZAK LOVED THEM, ITS FUNNY HE ALWAYS THANKS ME AND TELLS ME MOM IT GOING TO LOOK GOOD. HE EVEN LOVES TO HELP US SET UP HIS PARTY, HE GETS SO EXCITED.

THIS IS WHAT THE OUT SIDE OF THE INVITE LOOKED LIKE

I LOVED THE COLORS BLACK, YELLOW, ORANGE. I ALSO MADE THE 2 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BANNER I LOVE MAKING THEM

ONE OF THE TABLES SET UP WITH THE DRINKS AND CAKE

PARTY FAVORS TABLE 

WHEN YOU WALKED IN YOU WHERE GREETED WITH THE SIGN

I MADE IT EASY ON ME ZAK WANTED PIZZA, AND BREAD STICKS HE COULD EAT THAT EVERY DAY HE LOVES PIZZA

I ALSO HAD SALAD I PUT THEM IN THESE CUTE LITTLE CUPS I FOUND THEM AT TARGET IN THE DOLLAR SECTION, ALSO PUT PIZZA SAUCE TO DIP YOUR BREAD STICKS IN THESE OTHER CUTE CUPS SO FUN

ZAK WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH HIS COUSINS

HE GOT LOADS OF PRESENTS!

THIS SWEET LADY LOVES ZAK SHE WORKS AT JOANN'S FABRIC AND IS ALWAYS BUYING HIM THINGS WHEN WE GO IN SHE GAVE HIM A FURBY, WE COULD NOT BELIEVE  IT THEY ARE LIKE 60.00 DOLLARS BUT WE LOVE HER

ZAK HAD TO INVITE HIS CUTE PRESCHOOL TEACHERS HE WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE HER COME

ZAK BLOWING OUT HIS CANDLES I ADDED THE CANDY ROCKS AND LOADER TO THE CAKE

WHAT A SPECIAL DAY THAT WAS, WE ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN OUR HOME HE HAS SUCH A SWEET HEART!! WE ARE SO THANKFUL FOR HIS BIRTH MOM MELISSA  WE LOVE HER AND HER FAMILY SO, SO MUCH WE COULD NOT ASK FOR A SWEETER LITTLE BOY. WHAT A BLESSING HE IS!!! THANKS FOR ALL THOSE WHO CAME AND HELP CELEBRATE ZAK.

FIRST YEAR OF SWIMMING LESSONS

ZAK STARTED SWIMMING LESSONS YESTERDAY, HE IS TAKING THEM AT SOMEONES HOUSE IN DRAPER, IT HAS BEEN FUN WATCHING HIM YESTERDAY HE WAS THE ONLY ONE IN HIS CLASS BUT TODAY THERE WAS 2 OTHER GIRLS HE HAS BEEN LOVING IT, HE GOES MONDAY - THURSDAY FOR 1/2 HOUR FOR TWO WEEKS. FUN TIMES, BY LITTLE BOY IS NOT A BABY ANY MORE I WISH I COULD FREEZE TIME.

{HAPPY 4TH OF JULY}

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!! I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY AS WELL I HOPE EVERY ONE HAS A SAFE AND FUN 4TH WITH THERE LOVED ONES WE SURE WILL, I HAD A OLD TABLE THAT I USED BOTH OF THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE TABLES TO MAKE THESE FLAGS, THE FIRST ONE I GOT THE BIG STAR IN IDAHO IN FEBRUARY  FOR $3.00 I KNEW I COULD FIND SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT I LOVE HOW SPARKLY THE STAR IS IT IS REALLY BIG. I LOVED HOW THEY TURNED OUT THE BOTTOM ONE I STILL NEED TO ANTIQUE A LITTLE. IT HAS BEEN FUN TO DO LITTLE PROJECT. SUPER CHEAP PROJECT I LOVE THOSE KINDS. HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

{KAYLEE ANN OLIVER} MAY 17, 2013

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR MAY TO COME. SINCE APRIL 3 WHEN I READ THAT EMAIL THAT I HAD WAITED 5+ YEARS TO HEAR OR READ, "YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN" 
LET ME GO BACK JOSH AND I WILL BE MARRIED THIS AUGUST 16 YEARS. ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A MOM WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL MY COUNSELOR WOULD ASK WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP I WOULD SAY A MOM, AS A YOUNG GIRL I LOVED PLAYING DRESS UP WITH MY DOLLS AND ALSO PETS SORRY ANIMALS I WOULD PUT DIAPERS ON MY DOGS AND PUSH THEM AROUND IN A STROLLER, AND HAVE THEM SUCK ON BOTTLE'S. JOSH AND I HAD PLANS TO HAVE 4 KIDS WHEN I COULD NOT GET PREGNANT I WENT TO MANY DOCTORS THEY SAY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JOSH AND I SO WHEN WE WHERE MARRIED  FOR 9 YEARS WE FINALLY PUT OUR PAPERS IN TO ADOPT. I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED ADOPTION I HAVE 3 COUSINS THAT WHERE ADOPTED (ONE DIED @ 3 FROM CANCER) THAT WAS SO HARD, JOSH COUSINS ADOPTED, ALSO JOSH SISTER HER FIRST WAS ADOPTED, THEN WAS ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF THERE OWN. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE ADOPTED ZAK I LOVE IT EVEN MORE, IF IT WAS NOT FOR THESE BIRTH PARENTS AND THERE FAMILY'S  I WOULD NOT BE A MOM WHEN 
 ZAK WAS BORN THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES HIS SWEET BIRTH MOM MELISSA AND HER FAMILY ARE SO SPECIAL TO US AND MY FAMILY THESE BIRTH FAMILIES BECOME OUR FAMILY. WE DECIDED TO PUT OUR PAPERS IN AGAIN TO LDS WHEN ZAK TURNED 0NE WE DID NOT KNOW HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE, SO WE PAID LDS OUR MONEY AND STARTED THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN, I WILL NOT LIE THERE IS ALOT OF PAPER WORK THAT HAS TO BE DONE, HOME STUDY'S, DOCTORS APPT, THE LIST GOES ON BUT YOU JUST DO IT CUZ YOU KNOW THAT WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. IN JUNE 2012 WE DECIDED TO GO WITH A PRIVATE AGENCY I CALLED THEM AND FELT REALLY GOOD ABOUT THEM ITS FUNNY A COUPLE YEARS AGO MY SISTER FRIEND TOLD MY SISTER WE SHOULD GO WITH THIS AGENCY BUT AT THE TIME WE THOUGHT NO, THEN IN MARCH OF 2012 MY SISTER IN LAW TOLD ME SHE HAD A FRIEND THAT WORKED FOR THIS AGENCY. I STARTED WORKING ON OUR BOOKS IN JUNE, THERE WAS MANY PRAYERS THOUGHT, WORRYING, WONDERING. WE DECIDED TO HAVE ME MAKE OUR BOOK AND AS I TALKED WITH THE AGENCY THEY SAID THAT MOST PEOPLE DO SHUTTER FLY BOOKS, IT WOULD COST US ABOUT 400.00 TO DO THE SHUTTER FLY BOOKS, I FINALLY FINISHED THE BOOKS IN OCTOBER, MY SISTER TOOK THEM WITH HER TO ST GEORGE I KISSED THEM OFF WISHING US LUCK!  WHEN WE FILLED OUT THE PAPER WORK WITH THIS NEW AGENCY THEY LIST ALL THE MANY DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL AND OTHER THINGS ON THEM WE DID NOT MARK ANY DRUGS, OR ALCOHOL  SMOKING ETC SO WE KNEW THAT WE MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT A LITTLE LONGER. SO THE END OF MARCH I CALLED THE AGENCY TO FIND OUT WHO MY CASE WORKER WAS CUZ OURS HAD MOVED, WHEN I DID THEY TOLD ME THE DIRECTOR WAS OUR CASE WORKER, SHE THEN TOLD ME THAT THERE WAS A BIRTH MOM THAT MATCHED WITH OUR PAPER WORK, WITH NO DRUGS, SMOKING, ALCOHOL WHEN I HUNG UP THE PHONE I KNEW THAT WE NEEDED PRAYERS SO WE TOLD A COUPLE PEOPLE IN OUR WARD, AND OF COURSE ALL OF OUR FAMILY'S TO PRAY FOR US AND THIS SWEET BIRTH MOM AT THE TIME WE DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME, WE EVEN FASTED. MANY PRAYERS WHERE SAID ON BEHALF OF OUR LITTLE FAMILY! AND IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND ARE ONE OF THEM THANKS SO MUCH WE KNOW THAT IT WAS THE POWER OF PRAYERS THAT CHRISTINA WAS BROUGHT INTO OUR LIVES. WHEN I WOULD HAVE DREAMS I WOULD DREAM OF A GIRL WITH DARK HAIR AND DARK EYES SO ON APRIL 3RD WHEN I READ THE EMAIL THAT WE HAD BEEN CHOSEN THAT THE BIRTH MOM WAS HISPANIC AND THE BIRTH FATHER, I KNEW THAT THIS WAS THE SPECIAL LITTLE GIRL I HAD DREAMED OF, WHEN I GOT DONE READING THE EMAIL I WAS CRYING SO HARD I THOUGHT THIS IS FINAL IT, I RAN DOWN STAIRS SAYING ZAK SHE CHOOSE US HE WAS JUMPING UP AND DOWN, THEN I CALLED JOSH, WHEN I CALLED HIM I COULD NOT TALK HE THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ZAK OR ME, I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY, AND HOW HAPPY ME AND MY LITTLE FAMILY WAS AND BOTH OF OUR FAMILY'S. WE HAD WAITED SO, SO LONG JUST LIKE WITH ZAK, I CALLED OUR CASE WORKER SHE TOLD ME THAT HER CASE WORKER WOULD CALL ME, MY MOM AND SISTER WHERE DYING MY MOM WANTED TO COME OVER BUT SHE DID NOT HAVE A CAR, MY DAD HAD TO TAKE HERS AS HIS WAS IN THE SHOP, I TOLD HER I WOULD COME AND GET HER I TOLD HER WELL MAYBE I SHOULDN'T CUZ WHAT IF THE CASE WORKER CALLS IT WAS SO HARD FINALLY AT 3:00 I CALLED MY CASE WORKER SAYING I HAD NOT HEARD FROM HER SHE SAID SHE WILL CALL SHE HAS BEEN REALLY BUSY, I TOLD HER TO HAVE HER CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE, I WENT TO MY SISTER TO SHOW HER SOME OUT FITS I HAD, I FORGOT A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE WE GOT THE CALL I STARTED PUTTING OUTFITS TOGETHER, ALL WE KNEW WAS THAT A BIRTH MOM WOULD BE LOOKING AT OUR BOOK, AND THAT SHE WAS DUE IN MAY, MY MOM CALLED AND ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING I TOLD HER SHE SAID EM THEY HAVEN'T EVEN CHOOSE YOU YET, BUT FROM THE FIRST TIME WE FOUND OUT THAT THERE WAS A BIRTH MOM GOING TO BE LOOKING AT OUR BOOK WE SAID A PRAYER SAYING FATHER IN HEAVEN WE LEAVE IT IN YOUR HANDS WHAT EVER HAPPENS, WE WILL BE FINE I FELT GOOD ABOUT IT I EVEN WENT TO THE STORE BUYING STUFF FOR THIS SWEET BIRTH MOM THAT WE HAD NEVER EVEN MET, THE WHOLE THING JUST FELT RIGHT. I FINALLY GOT THE CALL AT 4:30 FROM CHRISTINA'S CASE WORKER SHE TOLD ME THAT CHRISTINA WAS WORRIED CUZ SHE DID NOT HEAR RIGHT BACK FROM HER CASE WORKER SAYING WE WOULD ACCEPT HER BABY SHE TOLD HER DOES NO ONE NOT WANT MY BABY, WHEN SHE TOLD ME THAT I WANTED TO CRY, SHE TOLD ME THAT CHRISTINA COULD NOT WAIT TO MEET US, I TOLD HER WE COULD COME  DOWN TOMORROW AND BE THERE FOR THE WEEKEND, THE CASE WORKER SAID SHE COULD NOT DO THIS WEEKEND CUZ SHE HAD SOMETHING I WAS REALLY SAD I WANTED TO MEET HER SO BAD, SO WE PLANNED ON THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND, IT COULD NOT COME SOON ENOUGH. WE LEFT THURSDAY MORNING FOR VEGAS THAT IS WHERE SHE WAS FROM, IT WORKED OUT SO WELL CUZ JOSH'S SISTER LIVES THERE SO WE WOULD STAY WITH THEM. ON OUR WAY THERE ZAK KEPT TALKING ABOUT KAYLEE HE THOUGHT WE WHERE BRINGING HER HOME WITH US. FRIDAY NIGHT MY BROTHER IN LAW WANTED TO GO TO A LATE MOVIE WE SAID OK, DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE I COULD NOT STOPPING THINKING ABOUT SATURDAY. THE PLAN WAS TO MEET CHRISTINA AT IHOP, SHE WANTED TO MEET ZAK, AND THEN AFTER SHE MEET ZAK, HE WOULD STAY FOR A LITTLE BIT THEN JOSH'S SISTER WOULD TAKE ZAK SO THAT WE WOULD HAVE TIME TO TALK WITH JUST HER AND US. WE GOT A CALL FROM THE CASE WORKER SAYING THEY WHERE RUNNING LATE THAT THEY WOULD BE THERE IN 15 MINS, THE WHOLE WAY THERE ALL I FELT WAS PEACE, I WAS REALLY CALM, I KNEW WE LEFT IT IN THE LORDS HANDS. WE GOT THE CALL SAYING THEY WHERE THERE INSIDE WAITING AS I STARTED WALKING INTO IHOP THE TEARS JUST STARTED COMING DOWN. I THOUGHT THIS IS NOT GOOD I HAVE NOT EVEN MEET HER AND I' AM ALREADY CRYING, ZAK HAD FLOWERS FOR HER, WE ALSO HAD GIFTS FOR HER SINCE WE THOUGHT WE MIGHT NOT SEE HER UNTIL SHE'S IN LABOR, I WANTED HER TO HAVE A ROBE, AND P-J'S AND A BAG WITH SOME OTHER LITTLE THINGS TO TAKE WITH HER TO THE HOSPITAL WE GAVE HER A TARGET GIFT CARD, CAFE RIO GIFT CARD. WHEN I WALKED INTO IHOP  I MET HER SHE WAS SO PRETTY HER HAIR WAS LONG AND CURLY, SHE HAD CUTE DIMPLES, I KEEP TELLING HER HOW PRETTY SHE WAS WE SAT DOWN SHE MET ZAK HE WAS BEING SHY, SHE LOVED HIM. WHEN WE FIRST SAT DOWN TO TALK IT WAS LIKE I KNEW HER. ITS FUNNY CUZ WITH ZAK'S BIRTH MOM IT'S LIKE YOU ALREADY KNOW THEM. WE TALKED FOR HOURS IN FACT THE WAITRESS HAD TO KEEP COMING AND ASKING US IF WE WHERE READY TO TAKE OUR ORDER. WHEN WE TOLD CHRISTINA WHAT WE WANTED TO NAME THE BABY SHE LOVED IT WE TOLD HER WE WHERE THINKING ANN FOR HER MIDDLE NAME CUZ THAT WAS MY MIDDLE NAME HER JAW DROPPED AND SHE SAID THAT MY MIDDLE NAME AND MY GRANDMA'S WE TOLD HER THAT WAS HER MIDDLE NAME THEN, SHE ALSO TOLD US THAT WHEN HER CASE WORKER GAVE HER 3 DIFFERENT BOOKS TO LOOK AT SHE WAS DRAWN TO OUR SHE SAID SHE LOVED HOW I HAD MADE IT THAT IT WAS SO CREATIVE, SHE SAW ZAK AND SHE SAID I DO MY 2 BOYS HAIR LIKE HIS, SHE LOVED LACY OUR DOG, SHE HAD PLACED ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL TWO YEARS AGO AND THE OTHER COUPLE THAT SHE PLACED THIS LITTLE GIRL WITH WE REMIND HER OF THIS OTHER COUPLE. SHE HAD ALSO PLACED HER LITTLE GIRL THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING TWO YEARS AGO, AND ZAK WAS ALSO PLACED WITH US THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING 5 YEARS AGO. HER B-DAY IS ALSO ON ZAK'S B-DAY WE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT ALL SHE IS A SINGLE MOM TO 4 KIDS, KAYLEE WAS HER SIX CHILD. WHEN SHE ASKED ME TO BE IN THE DELIVER ROOM I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT I FELT HONORED TO BE THERE, TO SEE OUR SWEET BABY GIRL BORN, SHE TOLD ME SHE WANTED ME TO BE THE FIRST TO HOLD HER. I FELT SO BLESSED. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I TOLD HER THAT THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY PEOPLE PRAYING FOR HER, PEOPLE SHE DOES NOT KNOW, THE WHOLE TIME SHE COULD NOT STOP THANKING US, WE OF COURSE TOLD HER NO WE CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH, WORDS CAN NEVER EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE FOR THESE CHRIST LIKE BIRTH MOM'S AND THERE FAMILY'S I GOT TO FEEL KAYLEE MOVE SHE SAID THAT SHE IS SO ACTIVE SHE TOLD ME I BETTER BE PREPARED I TOLD HER I WAS READY. I EVEN BENT DOWN TO HER BELLY AND TALKED TO KAYLEE SAYING HOW EXCITED WE WHERE FOR HER TO COME, SHE TOLD US THAT WHEN I WAS TALKING SHE WAS GOING CRAZY. THE CASE WORKER HAD FORGOT TO BRING THE ULTRA SOUND BUT TOLD US THAT SHE WOULD EMAIL IT TO US I COULD NOT WAIT TO SEE OUR SWEET BABY GIRL. CHRISTINA SAID SHE HAS CHUBBY CHECKS, SHE TOLD US THAT SHE WOULD BE BORN WITH LOTS OF HAIR, AND THAT I COULD PUT A PONY TAIL IN IT. SHE SHOWED US PICTURES OF HER 4 KIDS THEY WHERE SO CUTE. IT WAS SO HARD TO LEAVE HER, I KNEW THAT IT WOULD JUST BE FOR A COUPLE WEEKS THEN I WOULD BE BACK TO TAKE OUR SWEET BABY GIRL HOME. SHE ALSO TOLD US SHE HATED TO GO TO THE DOCTORS AND HOSPITALS, SO SHE NEVER WENT, I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT IT BUT THOUGHT THIS IS HER 6 CHILD I AM SURE SHE KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. A COUPLE DAY'S BEFORE SHE HAD KAYLEE I STARTED THINKING I WISH SHE WOULD JUST GO TO THE DOCTORS, MY MOM AND MOTHER IN LAW WHERE SAYING THE SAME THING AT ONE TIME I EVEN CALLED MY CASE WORKER AND TOLD HER I THINK SHE NEEDED TO GO, SHE TOLD ME SHE WONT, I KEEP TEXTING HER CASE WORKER SAYING MAYBE SHE COULD GO TO THE HOSPITAL THIS WEEKEND CUZ I WAS SO SCARED I WOULD NOT MAKE IT FOR THE DELIVER, SHE TOLD US HER BABY'S COME FAST. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I WAS THERE IT WAS HARD TO PLAN CUZ THEY TOLD US TO PLAN ON BEING THERE FOR TWO WEEKS. SO WE WHERE GOING TO LEAVE SATURDAY MORNING, THE CASE WORKER WAS GOING TO TRY AND TAKE HER IN ON FRIDAY AND THEN LET US KNOW, SO THURSDAY NIGHT I WAS CLEANING LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE MY FLOORS ETC. I WENT UP STAIRS AND READ A EMAIL IT SAID CHRISTINA'S HOSPITAL PLANS, I GOT CHOKED UP AS I READ IT, SHE TOLD US THAT AS SOON AS THEY TELL HER SHE CAN GO HOME SHE GONE, THAT HOW BAD SHE HATES THE HOSPITAL'S AS I READ IT I FELT IT'S GETTING CLOSE, I CALLED MY MOM THEY HAD GONE TO BED SHE THOUGHT I WAS CALLING TO TELL HER THAT CHRISTINA WAS IN LABOR, WE JOKED HOW SHE STILL HAD THINGS, THINGS THAT SHE NEEDED TO GIVE ME BEFORE I LEFT, AND IF I GOT THE CALL IN THE NIGHT SHE WOULD DRIVE FAST TO GET THEM TO ME. I THEN WENT TO BED AND HAD ONLY BEEN IN BED FOR ABOUT A HOUR THE PHONE RANG SAYING CHRISTINA WAS IN LABOR!! I WAS DYING I TOLD THE CASE WORKER I WOULD CATCH A FLIGHT SHE TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T THINK I COULD GET ONE THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING, I WOKE UP JOSH, ZAK WAS SO EXCITED I CALLED MY MOM SHE SAID SHE WOULD MEET ME AT THANKSGIVING POINT WITH THE STUFF I TOLD HER OK, WE HAD TO PICK MY MOTHER IN LAW UP SHE WAS COMING DOWN WITH US, WE NEVER PACKED A CAR SO FAST IN ALL OUR LIVES!! WE LEFT ABOUT 3 IN THE MORNING THE CASE WORKER SAID SHE WOULD KEEP US POSTED I PRAYED HARD THAT ALL WOULD GO WELL FOR CHRISTINA, I HAD A FEELING I WOULD NOT MAKE IT FOR THE DELIVER CUZ WE KNEW HER BABY'S CAME FAST. I WAS JUST THANKFUL WE WHERE GOING TO VEGAS TO BRING HOME KAYLEE. JOSH WAS ROLLING DOWN WHEN WE WHERE ABOUT 20MINS A WAY THE CASE WORKER CALLED AND TOLD US THE WORST NEWS ANY ONE CAN TELL A MOTHER, THAT THE BABY HAD DIED!! WORDS CAN NOT SAY THE HURT OUR LITTLE FAMILY HAS BEEN FEELING WHEN I
 SAID THAT SHE DIED ZAK STARTED CRYING SAYING NO MY SISTER, I STARTED DRY HEVEING I COULD NOT TAKE THE NEWS, AND THEN TO SEE ZAK SO SAD HE WAS SO EXCITED FOR HIS SISTER KAY, KAY HE WOULD TELL EVERYONE THAT HIS SISTER WAS COMING. IT WAS HARD TO CALL OUR FAMILY'S THEY TOO WHERE SO EXCITED. I DO KNOW THAT I REMEMBERED THE FIRST PRAYER WHEN WE HEARD ABOUT A BIRTH MOM THAT IT WAS, "HEAVENLY FATHER WE LEAVE IT IN YOUR HANDS WHAT EVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS". IT HAS BEEN REALLY HARD BUT I KNOW I WILL RAISE KAYLEE IN THE NEXT LIFE, THAT SHE WILL BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY. EVERYONE HAS BEEN SO KIND AND DEAR TO OUR FAMILY WE DO FEEL YOUR SWEET PRAYERS ON BEHALF OF OUR FAMILY, THE AGENCY SAID THEY HAD NEVER SEEN THIS. CHRISTINA'S CASE WORKER WAS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH IT AS WELL. SHE TOLD US CHRISTINA LOST SO MUCH BLOOD THEY HAD TO DO A BLOOD TRANSFUSION  MY CUTE MOM AND SISTER SAID THEY WOULD FLY OUT I TOLD THEM I WOULD BE HOME SOON MY MOM WENT TO MY SISTER AND THEY JUST CRI ED ALL DAY. A LOT OF MY SISTER'S FRIENDS KNEW ABOUT ME AND FOUND OUT THE BAD NEWS AND WHERE ALL SO KIND TO MY SISTER BRINGING HER THINGS. WE GOT HOME SATURDAY NIGHT MY MOM AND DAD AND MY SISTER CAME OVER, MY DAD AND JOSH GAVE ME A AMAZING BLESSING, WHEN THEY WHERE GIVING ME THE BLESSING ZAK CRAWLED UP IN MY LAP AND PUT HIS HANDS UPON MY HEAD AS WELL I WAS DYING IT WAS SO SPECIAL MY DAD GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL BLESSING. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE THINGS HE SAID IN THAT BLESSING. THERE HAS BEEN MANY THINGS THAT I HAVE PONDERED AND THOUGHT ABOUT IT I KNOW THAT BEFORE I CAME DOWN TO THIS EARTH I CHOOSE THESE TRIALS AND  AFTER MY DAD GAVE ME THE BLESSING IN MY PATRIARCHAL BLESSING I HAD ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT SOMETHING IT SAID IN IT AND I KNEW THAT THIS IS WHAT MY PATRIARCHAL BLESSING TALKED ABOUT. WE HAVE BECOME STRONGER AS A FAMILY, I FEEL MY SAVIORS LOVE, IN FACT SOMETIMES I FEEL HIM CARRYING ME. ZAK EVEN TALKS ABOUT WHEN KAYLEE IS RESURRECTED, I HAVE FELT KAYLEE'S SPIRIT HERE IN OUR HOME, ZAK TELLS ME THAT SHE IS HIS GUARDEN ANGEL I BELIEVE IT I KNOW SHE IS LOOKING DOWN ON US, AND THAT SHE IS WITH SO MANY LOVED ONES. I BELIEVE  THAT SHE IS PREPARING THE NEXT LITTLE ONE TO COME. RIGHT NOW I TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND PRAYERS AND SUPPORT AT THIS HARD TIME.

HI THERE

JUST TESTING

SHOW AND TELL SOMETHING EASTER

WEEK OF MARCH 25TH-29TH FOR SHOW AND TELL ZAK TOOK HIS EASTER BUNNY BASKET THAT HE USES WHEN HE GOES ON EASTER EGG HUNTS, I LOVE THE CUTE BUNNY EARS THEY MADE! WHAT A CUTE BUNNY!! 

SHOW AND TELL LETTER E

MARCH 18TH- 22
THE THEME WAS EGGS AND CHICKENS THE NUMBER 13 ZAK MADE A CUTE CHICKEN I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE IT WAS SO CUTE, FOR SHOW AND TELL HE TOOK A GREEN EGG, SINCE GREEN IS HIS FAVORITE COLOR. 

VEGAS BABY

LAST WEEKEND WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAY'S OF OUR LIVES WE GOT TO MEET OUR BIRTH MOM, SHE IS AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, FUNNY, SO GRATEFUL THE LIST GOES ON. WE MEET UP WITH HER ON SATURDAY, I WILL NOT GIVE ALL THE DETAILS I WILL DO HER STORY WHEN SHE ARRIVES!! CAN'T WAIT WE(I) HAVE BEEN NESTING LIKE CRAZY, PAINTING, CLEANING,ORGANIZING IT'S GOOD CUZ IT KEEPS ME BUSY, AND MY MIND FROM GOING CRAZY. WE ADOPTIVE PARENTS GO THROUGH A LOT OF WHAT WOMEN WHO ARE EXPECTING GO THROUGH, CAN'T SLEEP, NESTING, CRAVING, TIRED ETC. BUT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY TRYING TO GET STUFF DONE THAT WHEN I GO TO BED I DYE. SO THAT HAS BEEN GOOD. ALSO I AM SO EXCITED SHE ASKED ME TO BE IN THE DELIVER ROOM, WHEN SHE ASKED ME THE TEARS JUST CAME ROLLING DOWN, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT, SHE SAID SHE WANTS THE BABY TO BE THE ONE TO SEE ME FIRST. I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A DELIVER ROOM I AM BOTH SCARED AND EXCITED.CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE MORE BUT I BETTER GO I NEED TO KEEP BUSY HA HA!!

CHOSEN!!!

WE ARE STILL IN SHOCK WE WHERE CHOSEN ON WEDNESDAY APRIL 3RD BY A BIRTH MOM, SHE IS DUE MAY 23RD BUT IS MEASURING BIG SO MAYBE SOONER,  WE WILL BE HEADING DOWN TO VEGAS THIS NEXT COMING WEEKEND TO MEET HER. ZAK IS ON CLOUD NINE, AND SO ARE WE, HE KEEPS TELLING ME ALL THE MANY THINGS HE WILL BE DOING WITH HER, HE KEEPS ASKING ME IS IT TIME TO GO TO VEGAS. I WILL SHARE MORE ABOUT HOW WE WHERE CHOSEN AND MORE THINGS, MY HEART IS SO FULL OF GRATITUDE ZAK IS ALWAYS WANTING TO SEND HE UP BALLOONS SO WE HE KISSED THEM ALL THREE AND SENT THEM UP, IT'S HARD TO SEE THEM IN THE PICTURE THE WINDY WAS BLOWING REALLY BAD. CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU CHRISTINA, AND BABY GIRL!!

P.S THE PINK FLIP FLOPS ARE SO LITTLE AND CUTE I ADD THE FLOWER TO THEM, I AM GOING CRAZY ON ALL THE FUN GIRL STUFF OUT THERE!

{NESTING}

THIS WEEK I HAVE BEEN NESTING, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO GET THINGS CLEAN AFTER A LONG COLD WINTER, I LOVE TO OPEN MY WINDOW'S AND LET THE SUN SHINE IN, THERE IS ALOT TO DO! I STILL NEED TO POST PICTURES OF A PROJECT WE DID IN JANUARY, AND RIGHT THIS MINUTE I AM WORKING ON ANOTHER PROJECT I CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE AND SHOW THE DETAILS I HOPE MY LIST OF THINGS GET DONE SOON, I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!

SHOW AND TELL LETTER K

MARCH 11-15 THE THEME WAS KITES AND WIND POWER, THEY LEARNED ABOUT THE LETTER K, AND NUMBER 12. FOR SHOW AND TELL ZAK TOOK HIS KANGAROO I LOVE HOW HE PUT HIS GUYS IN THE LITTLE POUCH.

SHOW AND TELL LETTER U

MARCH 4- 8 THE THEME WAS UMBRELLAS AND RAIN THEY LEARNED ABOUT THE LETTER U AND NUMBER 11, ZAK WAS SICK ON MONDAY, HE WAS BEING SILLY HE TOOK HIS NEW BUNNIE THAT HE CALLED "UNO" FOR SHOW IN TELL.

{LUCKY}

I LOVE THE LAST TAG ON THE TREASURE HUNT IT SAYS LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY YOU! THE LOOT YOU FOUND- SHOUT WAHOO!! NOW YOU CAN GO AND ENJOY YOUR TREASURE  AND REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE!

HIS BIG CHEESE SMILE

WE HAD A GREAT ST PADDY'S DAY THE CUTE LITTLE GREEN GUY LEFT SOME FUN TREASURES FOR ALL OF US, THE LITTLE GREEN GUY HAD ZAK GO ON A TREASURE HUNT. ZAK LOVED EVERY MINUTE, HE WAS SO HAPPY AND JUST KEEP LAUGHING. SUCH FUN MEMORIES.WE HAD GREEN PANCAKES, GREEN JUICE, WE WENT TO CHURCH DECK OUT IN OUR GREEN. ZAK TOOK HIS PRIMARY TEACHER A ST PADDY'S TREAT. ZAK LOVED ALL THE FUN GREEN CANDY THAT THE LITTLE GREEN GUY LEFT, HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS GREEN. I LOVE THESE FUN MEMORIES THAT WE ARE MAKING AS A FAMILY I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE THESE TWO IN MY LIFE!!! 

SUNSHINE

I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO PUT TOGETHER A SHINE BASKET AND GIVE IT TO SOME ONE TO BRIGHT UP THERE DAY, SO WHEN I HEARD ABOUT A SISTER I VISIT TEACH WHO'S FATHER WAS DYING OF CANCER I KNEW I NEEDED TO DO THIS. IT WAS SO FUN TO FIND THINGS THAT WHERE YELLOW I LOVE YELLOW IT IS SO CHEERFUL!! IN THE YELLOW TIN CAN THERE IS SOME EASTER CANDY THAT THE BAG WAS YELLOW AS WELL I HOPE IT BRIGHTEN HER DAY AS IT DID MINE KNOWING I WAS BRING SOME SUN SHINE HER WAY, THE NEXT DAY I GOT WORD THAT HER FATHER DID PASS AWAY. I KNOW SHE LOVED HER FATHER SO MUCH, IT'S GREAT TO KNOW THAT WE WILL BE WITH THE ONES WE LOVE IN THE NEXT LIFE. 

IT'S ALMOST THAT TIME AGAIN

THIS LAST SATURDAY ZAK AND I WHERE RUNNING ERRANDS WHEN WE CAME A CROSS A YARD SALE, I GOT TWO OTHER THINGS THAT I WILL POST AS SOON AS I GET THEM DONE, I CAN'T WAIT BUT I GOT THESE CHRISTMAS WHITE NET LIGHTS I LOVE THEM I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME AFTER CHRISTMAS BUT NEVER FOUND ANY I GOT THEM FOR $2.00 CAN'T BEAT THAT I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS SIGN I LOVE THE SAYING OF COURSE IT NEEDED TO COME HOME WITH ME, I HOPE TO POST THE OTHER TWO THING SOON I AM HOPING THIS WEEK BUT WE WILL SEE  HOPE EVERY ONE HAS A GREAT WEEK. BLESSINGS EMILEE