"GOD IS MAKING THINGS HAPPEN FOR YOU EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T SEE IT. EVEN WHEN YOU CAN'T FEEL IT.EVEN IF IT'S NOT EVIDENT. GOD IS WORKING ON YOUR PRAYERS". AFTER KAYLEE DIED WE TOLD ZAK WE NEEDED TO PICK OUT A DIFFERENT NAME FOR A BOY OR GIRL, ZAK SAID I KNOW IF ITS A GIRL WE SHOULD NAME HER MAKENZIE, HE WOULD SAY HIS PRAYERS, HE WOULD PRAY FOR BIRTH MOM'S AND THEN HE WOULD SAY A COUPLE TIMES PLEASE SENT MAKENZIE TO OUR HOME. SO ON MONDAY AUG 5 I WOKE UP FIXED ZAK AND ME BREAKFAST. THEN ZAK WANTED ME TO TURN ON CARTOONS FOR HIM THAT IS USUALLY WHEN I GO UP STAIRS TO READ MY EMAILS AND STUFF. I WENT TO MY EMAILS TO FIND A EMAIL FROM LDS FAMILY SERVICES, MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I WAS COMPLETELY SCARED, BUT O SO, SO EXCITED TO READ THIS EMAIL AS I READ THE EMAIL TEARS WHERE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. I COULD FEEL THIS SWEET BIRTH MOMS SPIRIT AND TESTIMONY, THE THINGS SHE WROTE IN THIS EMAIL WILL FOREVER BE SPECIAL TO ME AS I ALREADY FELT A CONNECTION TO HER. AT FIRST I WAS SCARED TO TELL ZAK CUZ HE HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS I THOUGHT MAYBE WE WILL WAIT TO TELL HIM THEN I THOUGHT NO HE NEED TO EXPERIENCE THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY THAT WE ARE SO BLESSED TO TAKE, IT'S NOT A EASY ONE FOR SURE BUT WORTH EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH. I LOVE ADOPTION. I LOVE HOW THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE THAT THESE SWEET BIRTH FAMILY'S HAVE FOR THAT CHILD. TO GET TO SEE AND EXPERIENCE IT IS SO AMAZING. OF COURSE AFTER I READ IT I CALLED JOSH HE WAS SO EXCITED I THINK HE WAS AS WELL IN SHOCK. AFTER KAYLEE DIED MY FAMILY SAID THERE IS ANOTHER SWEET SPIRIT JUST AROUND THE CORNER MY MOM AND BOTH MY SISTER KEEP TELLING ME THAT. MY MOM EVEN SAID MAYBE THIS NEXT TIME THEY WILL JUST CALL YOU UP AND TELL YOU THEY HAVE A BABY FOR YOU, I SAID THAT WOULD BE PERFECT I TOLD ALOT OF PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT, IT TOOK A LOT OUT OF JOSH AND I WE NEVER, NEVER THOUGH THIS WOULD HAPPEN. I WAS TALKING TO ONE OF OUR FRIENDS MY COUSIN CHAD'S REALLY GOOD FRIEND GROWING UP ADOPTED THERE FIRST CHILD, THEY ADOPTED IT FROM THE SAME AGENCY WE HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH. I TOLD HER WHAT MY MOM HAD SAID ABOUT THEM JUST CALLING AND SAYING THERE WAS A BABY, BUT THEN I WENT ON TO TELL HER THAT IN ONE WAY IT WOULD BE GREAT GETTING TO KNOW ANOTHER SPECIAL BIRTH MOM AND HER FAMILY, I TREASURE ZAK'S BIRTH MOM AND HER FAMILY, I ALSO TREASURE KAYLEE'S BIRTH MOM. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR HEARTS NO MATTER WHAT, THEY WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF OUR FAMILY. SO WHEN I READ THAT SHE WAS ALMOST 13 WEEKS PREGNANT I ABOUT DIED, I DID KEEP READING IT OVER, AND OVER. I THOUGHT AM I STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS, ETC. BUT THEN THE SWEET SPIRIT WHISPERS "YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS". I CAN TELL YOU THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS I HAVE GROWN AND LEARNED SO MUCH FROM MY SWEET HEAVENLY FATHER, THAT I DO HAVE FAITH, I FEEL THIS CHILD IS NEEDED IN OUR HOME AT THIS TIME, THAT THIS SWEET SPIRIT IS OURS TO RAISE. MY FAMILY AND JOSH'S HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY FOR OUR LITTLE FAMILY ALL DAY I COULD NOT STOP SMILING I KNEW THAT MY HEAVENLY FATHER HEARS AND DOES ANSWER OUR PRAYER, EVEN 5 YEAR OLD PRAYERS. WHEN I READ WHAT HER NAME WAS MAKENZIE I WAS DYING I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. A SWEET TENDER MERCY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. WE KNOW HE HEARS US, IN HER EMAIL SHE TALKS ABOUT THE FAMILY, AND ABOUT HOW SHE CAN'T BE A DAD, AND HOW SPECIAL HER DAD IS TO HER, AND HOW HE SHAPED HER INTO THE PERSON SHE IS TODAY. SHE SAID SHE HAS BEEN STUDYING THE FAMILY PROCLAMATION AND HOW IT TALKS ABOUT A MOM AND A DAD, SHE WANT THAT SO BAD FOR THIS SWEET CHILD. BOTH OF MY SISTER'S ARE IN YOUNG WOMEN'S THEY BOTH SAID THEY WISHED I WOULD OF GOT IT EARLIER BECAUSE THE LESSON WAS ON FAMILY AND PROCLAMATION. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT OUR PROFILE ON LDS IT HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE 4 YEARS AGO SO THE PICTURES WHERE OLD OF US AND ZAK, I DID UPDATE THE LETTER ABOUT A YEAR IN A HALF SO IT WAS OUT DATED AS WELL, I THOUGHT O NO SO WHEN I EMAILED HER BACK I GAVE HER OUR BLOG ADDRESS I THOUGHT SHE CAN SEE UP DATED PICTURES, AND READ MORE ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. I CALLED MY CASE WORKER I TOLD HER ABOUT KAYLEE, SHE WAS NOT A WARE OF IT, I TOLD HER I WAS REALLY SCARED, SEE THEY GET THE EMAIL FIRST THEN WE DO, SO I CALLED TO SEE IF SHE HAD GOT IT AND SHE SAID NO SHE HAD NOT GOT IT. SHE TOLD ME WHAT I NEED TO PUT IN MY EMAIL, I HUNG UP THE PHONE AND THOUGHT I WILL PUT WHAT WE FEEL WE NEED TO PUT IN IT I DON'T NEED ANY ONE TELLING ME WHAT I NEED TO PUT. WE EMAILED BACK AND FORTH ALL DAY I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN, WE WENT AND GOT PIZZA AND TOOK IT TO THE PARK FOR FAMILY NIGHT, THEN WENT AND GOT A SNOW CONE. WE GOT TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS WITH ZAK FOR FAMILY NIGHT WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE WAS SO EXCITED, I THINK IN A WAY ITS HARD FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND SINCE KAYLEE PASS A WAY. IT WAS SO HARD. I TEXT ED HER AND ASKED IF I COULD CALL HER, SHE SAID YES, SO I CALLED HER WE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR TWO HOUR OR SO, SHE SAID THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE SHE WAS COMING UP THIS WEEKEND WE WANTED TO MEET EACH OTHER SOON. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD LET ME KNOW LATER IN THE WEEK. WE GOT WORD THAT SHE WAS COMING UP THAT WEEKEND.
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
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